For my birthday, my dad got me tickets to go see Monsters of Folk, and the show was last night. I took Alex, and it was phenomenal. I had no idea what to expect.. well, some but not much. I walked in having love for Conor Oberst, admiration for M.Ward, and knowledge of Yim Yames - but wow. It was amazing. The show at first felt like I was in a theatre in the 1930's, a bunch of talented folk singers filling a room with their sound "This space is great, it's like we're thrust into the audience... and we want to thrust into you!" Yim Yames said. Everyone screamed and clapped. The audience was very well behaved. Everyone was in high spirits seeing our favoured musical geniuses in a room collaborating. They were all wearing suits. Conor's was too big for him, I thought, but still all looked cute and put-together.
M.Ward blew me away. When he did his solo stuff, my heart filled with peppermints on pillows, his voice matched his green corduroy suit. Thick and dusty, sifting through the air and holding resonant in our sternums. The song One Hundred Million Years is one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a long time.
Conor spoke and as Alex put it - if he told us to do something, we'd do it, because his voice is just so sincere and sexy! They played for two and a half hours. With encore. It was incredible, and I suggest to everyone interested in folk music or any of these artists - GO! SEE THEM!
While I was at the show, I felt like I hadn't in a while. I felt the way I used to, that I wanted to be standing in their shoes, playing shows and singing songs. I felt guilt, because I wasn't doing anything to get me closer to that, and I haven't for four years. Since Greater Than Three broke up, and well, after the last show where I was booed by a 10 year old girl (and was asked for an autograph from two young girls as well) I just felt no motivation to try and keep it up. I've written one song in the past... five years or something? It's pathetic. Anyway, the show got me thinking about how playing has always been a passion of mine, and it was my dream to play shows and sustain some sort of lifestyle from it. My dream's kind of withered, but I think I can at least start playing again. A friend had asked me if I'd want to play bass in his band, and I always said yes, but never bothered to learn his songs. I finally messaged him last night to inform him that I would in fact be interested. In between working on my paper this afternoon, I started trying to learn some bass lines.
I also downloaded Hold Time, M.Ward's album.... and I feel guilty because it's actually amazing. I may go out and try and buy it tomorrow or this week, just because he deserves some more money for being a great artist. He's hitting me in the way that Sondre Lerche used to hit me. Like I should be reading a thick book I'm not interested in listening to his album to make it somewhat okay. I hope this album will help me through the cold season transition. I think it will, it's perfect fall music. Him and oddly Sebastian Grainger... but enough about him this entry wasn't inspired by him!
Anyway, I feel like maybe I'm starting to get my life together. I am doing sit-ups and playing guitar and I am going to try and cut down on my internet consumption. Nothing interesting is happening on facebook anymore. It's not worth the conditioning I have to check it every five minutes. I have so much to do in the meantime anyway, and I kind of want to learn how to skateboard too. Amongst all that I have hundreds of readings to do and catch up on, and school projects, let alone THESIS. I have so much to do, why am I watching more than one episode of Gilmore Girls A DAY?! So silly!

Here is One Hundred Million Years just to get you going:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byFglWs87-c

My sick mind does weird things. I was just thinking about making a "choose your own adventure" game on Flash about lying in bed sick.
You are lying half conscious in bed and can only breathe barely from one nostril.
Do you
A) turn on your side in the hopes of it getting better
B) blow your nostril out in hopes it will breathe more steady
C) just lie there and take it?

You have chosen B.

Your body has noted your greed and takes the nostril away. You are now left breathing from your mouth. The air is cold and is drying out your lips.
Do you
A) just try and fall asleep
B) grab more pillows and prop yourself up higher in the chance of gaining back that one nostril
C) Turn on your side and hope that you will put all mucous onto one side of your nose?

So on so forth but you get the jist.

I also have obsessive dreams when I'm sick. If one thing happens during the time I'm sick when I fall asleep it's all I can think about and I strategize. Once I could only dream about Mario Party. This time I could only dream about Princess Bride.

Yesterday Alex came over with a bunch of goodies to make me feel better. He didn't go to class and instead brought me all this stuff and hung out with me all day. We studied and he walked my dog because I couldn't. It totally ruled. He kept playing with my sock monkey and it made me laugh. My eyes were puffy and he said I was beautiful.

Anyway I should probably get some sleep or something.

Sooooo in love with him and now I'm watching Gilmore Girls and I've watched too too many of them. My birthday was fucking awesome. Alex and I have our 1 year anniversary coming up and I am buying him an engraved ring with "Homer" engraved on the inside. I can't wait. I think about him all day. It's disgusting.
Last night was my birthday party, and we went to the Boat, a whole hot team of us. I was the drunkest I've ever been, that's right, two people bought me Sex On The Beach. I was still not drunk but I felt it enough, my feet weren't as in control as they normally are, and I don't care if people see my butt as much.
My friends got me some awesome pressies too! Steve made me a necklace! Sadly it went down my boobs too much and then it broke so HE NEEDS TO FIX IT!
I am in need of going shopping with dear friends in the near future. My room smells of LUSH hand lotion.
Regardless, my friends are awesome and I am tired and lazy soooooo finish this episode and that is it.

Why can't I just believe that he loves me and that I deserve every wonderful aspect of who he is?

I was just watching that 70's rock video from Ghost World again, and it's so good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyEnG_DEB1I

For my birthday party I'm definitely going to do my best to construct one of those black masks, and I'm gonna make a few other ridiculous things to wear to the boat. I mean it's my birthday dammit!
Things have been going smoothly. School has a reasonable amount of work, I just can't entirely slag off.
Been spending a lot of time with Alex, and I love it. I love seeing him all the time, but I am kinda glad I have a few days away from him just because it makes me less girl-crazy.
Last night when we were coming home from a night out together he ran into some girl that he use to know back in his slutty days. She was like "we should go out... if that's cool with you" to me, and I didn't really think anything of it, because I didn't know who she was and assumed she was an old friend of his or something, so I didn't get protective or bitchy back. He told me that she was being a bitch and he apologized, and I was kinda upset after? I don't know it was just a weird feeling because he was trying so hard to not make me feel bad but I didn't even understand why I should? Just because he went out for drinks with her one night and nothing happened... but whatever, he's wonderful and he was just concerned about my feelings. She was pretty but I mean not his type at all and I guess that's the kinda girliness I'm referencing.

After all these months, of cleaning and then messing my basement, I still am no farther than I started... but I'm going to try and get it done this week, because I'd like very much if he could actually sleep over.

Listening to the Beatles waiting for him to come home from work and call me so I can go to bed.

Is the best cat ever but she ran away this week and I tried not thinking about it but I allowed myself to tonight and now I am just plum upset.

EDIT:
after four and a bit days of worrying Rory has returned! She was hidden in a neighbour's basement this entire time.

I must get Alex 11 sunflowers for September 28th just because he deserves them.

I've been listening to a lot of VEGA and Neon Indian and I have to say it's not enough.

I was in Mariam's car coming home from a party last week and something wonderful came on the radio, but the channel was changed too quickly for me to hear who it was. It reminded me of the two previously noted bands a lot and now it's driving me nuts not knowing who it was. They could have opened a door to more of the same, whereas NI and V are kinda dead ends because they're so new.

Went to Orfus and got a lot of stuff. I didn't own any leotards last week and now I own three.

I miss the bathing suit that was too big for me as a kid. It had a tiger face in the middle with jewels on it.

I'm writing this now because I feel artistically empty - not myself - but just in finding an artist to be excited about. There are so many yet I spent half an hour looking for something amazing on ffffound and didn't really come up with any contenders. What the hell.

Fake Prom is Friday and I'm so amped. The theme is Film Noir, and my friend Laura is going to do my hair and makeup. It's going to be sick.

I just wanna get lost in pyramids suspended in space with cats and neon geometric shapes.

Alex : you have five minutes to get off work and pick me up! (even though we all know I'll wait another fifteen before I'm really serious).

Things are pretty good. Quit Joe Badali's because I hated getting harassed by old men who think it's their responsibility and right to ask me if I'm on the menu. Sadly, that means I'm only going to be working four days a week, and I also applied at a place where I'd have to "dress sexy" but hey - at least I'd be getting tipped.

Went to Dollarama again today, got some stuff to liven up the staff bathroom at Cora's. I know. I'm adorable. But seriously? The place is so dank and awful it makes me feel so down before I start work. I wish I could have gotten more, but I did get a.... no one cares. That's ok.

I'm just going to watch gilmore girls or something.

<3

Andrew called and it was kinda weird but ok I guess just as long as he doesn't make it a habit.

EDIT: well so much for that. He can't just let things go. I won't be talking to him until Christmas I think. If then. Out of courtesy when he picks up the phone when I call his parents.

I read through some of my old journals tonight, and I have to say.

Holy fuck.

I was dating such an asshole.

It's insane to me the shit I would put up with, and how I could read between the lines of certain days because I still remember the arguments, and I can see the places where I'm trying to step over my better judgement and just let things slide. It's good though, near the end I at least stopped putting up a front for myself and I was saying how bad things were. At first I wouldn't write about the arguments, I would just write "things are getting a little better."

And it just, makes me appreciate now, and I even appreciate that delusional phase I went through last summer. At least I had something good to get me through such a rough patch.

Alex fuckin' rules basically - is the message I'm trying to get across here.

My eyes hurt.

The world is a perfect place an hour after leaving the Mandarin, having your meal paid for you, and just being full of love and food. I have a day off and I just don't know what to do with it. I could clean, but I think I am going to go to Dollerama and get a few things on my bike. Get a bit of this pie off me.

Work and boyfriend have consumed me, and yeah, I'm over that weird state of self-destruct I had. It was really like a bad dream caused by a lot of work and narco-sleepy.

When your boyfriend's cellphone dies when he's out and you're supposed to meet up? I do.
If it's not dead, then he sure is!
Oh man could you imagine for real though, I'd hate myself.

I think I've soaked in as much Skins as I can for the night.

I keep hearing that line from Full Metal Jacket in my head tonight too.

"Is that you John Wayne?... Is this me?"

I look fucking adorable and I wanted to at least take a picture but photobooth isn't working.

Bollocks.

I hate when I'm really annoyed and it's not his fault. Though it'd be worse if it was his fault.

At fault:

-13 hour work day
-5:30am wake up tomorrow (forth day in a row)
-Alex is still at work
-If we'd gotten together at 9 I'd have been happy
-Hate errrrrrting

I want to slide my hands hard across my faceeeeeee today is re-re tarded.
Now I will probably have to wait until Monday to see him.
SO MAD

I got sick of writing different tweets about how angry I am at tonight. I'm lying here dressed to go just in case but he is taking foreverrrr I hate Caseys and I hate Cora's and I hate Joe Badali's right now. v_____V my eyese are closed. time to ust rock some old songs and wait for my phone to vibrate too late. :(

This past weekend was fairly ( amazing. )

we were in his hot tub at around 11:30 watching the Three Stooges on his mini DVD player and we kissed and leaned our heads together, and just stayed that way for a minute. He pulled away and said "... are you my soulmate?"

to not send him a text right now or call him up. Things with us skip from comfortable to fresh and back again so quickly. And I mean comfortable in the most positive sense. Not the hum-drum oh it's you kinda way.
Sorry if you all find my posts incredibly sickening. I'm just totally gay for him.

Some things that I could have twittered but didnt:

I miss watching Arrested Development.

I'm re-reading Preacher and let me tell you it's fucking awesome and if you like cool shit you would probably like it. The characters are all really fucked up. The most gnarly shit happens to them along the way and the antagonists always get what's coming... even when it's God.

I went to PRIDE with Stevereno for the first time. I'd always had to work through the parade and being without a job for the time being has given me a few benefits, and this was one of them... even if I did see a lot of old man wiener.

I should probably go to bed.

Eight months ago, I called him at 9:06, and he was doing homework. We talked for two hours and he almost came to pick me up. We had our first kiss two days later.

Today, he showed up in his car with summer flowers, wearing a button up white shirt to take me out to a nice dinner at Milestones. We spent the entire time talking and smiling at each other, endless things to joke about. We waited nearly an hour for our food, and at some point he tied his napkin around his neck and held his utensils. I laughed really hard. From there we went bowling. I sucked so hard and was really embarrassed but he said I was still the best. We did the Monty Burns hand-over-the-air-vent joke and went home. We played Scrabble. It is so wonderful, to just be with someone who appreciates every minute you're together.

Anyway, I suppose that's enough gayness for all of you.

I like disappearing from the internet for days at a time. It's nice to just go hide at my boyfriend's house.
Went for an interview at Cora's today. I may have flubbed it on account of I set my availablilty to 9am-1am and their only open 7am-4pm... sooo I don't know if they will like me. I said I was flexible though so hopefully they will take that into account.
I watched most of Click last night on Showcase with Alex. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it before seeing it I already knew what the "lesson" was and all that predictable stuff.
Laptop battery dying. Going to a few NXNE-related shows tonight.



ALPHABOT @ HOLY JOE'S 1AM!!

Just listening to Queen in my basement, and today has been both eventful for a lazy day and uneventful for what should be a filled afternoon. I gotta start getting to bed earlier and getting up at 10 or 11. At this rate I'm waking up at quarter to 1, unable to get ready before 3. I wanna do a few things today though, for certain. I have all the hours in the world, and if I can't find a job I should at least be able to finish the basement room for Alex and I, and maybe get my website into a state. I'm kinda mad I didn't think in advance for my interFACE, but it's still cool. Aah! I need to remember how to do things and not allow myself to be too lazy.
Applied for one job in the beaches, but it's part time. Bittersweet if I get it. Biked there and back and I am now physically weak! Ridiculous. I'm such a pansy now!

Um, boyfriend amazing and all that la de da.

I WANT A TUNA MELT KTHXBAI