I am a week and a half away from freedom.
I have two more projects to do.
I have a quiz and an exam.
I have a painting evaluation.
Then I'm free!

Free to go clothing shopping
Free to do photoshoots
Free to concentrate on making presents for my boyfriend
Free to go garage saling
Free to go biking
Free to build some art stuff I've been wanting to build
Free for a week and a bit
Before I have to go into work

But fuck,
At least my weekends will belong to me. Stress free.

Today was beautiful. Tomorrow it will rain.
I wanted to go out but I was tired and I have a chest cold.

My cats are molting everywhere, and the hair really loves my black leggings.

My lawn is getting yellow and brown.. much less white.

I've been having stress-dreams. They're starting to deminish.

Quiz tomorrow quiz tomorrow.

I'm going to go get some air. It's getting dark.

PS: I ended up going in to get my hair lightened, and they said they couldn't do it because they thought my base colour was so nice.
So they gave me highlights.
It cost seventy dollars.
And I look almost the same.

So, I came to school five hours before my class, just so that I can work, and I'm terribly sick of what I'm working on, and I'm trying to find refuge in the internet for a piece of entertainment.
What I think I dislike most about OCAD computers is that when you try to stream music from say, Myspace... it just lags and pauses non-stop. It's frustrating. I just wanted to listen to the Teenagers. I need to decide whether I like them enough to spend $16.50 on a ticket to see them in May.
School is a month from being over, and I couldn't be happier to think about that. I have one more paper due, and a few more quizzes and one fairly simple exam. Several more projects, but all of which I feel confident enough in finishing.. despite my current desire to ignore them.
I'm trying to create a beat that fits a song from Peter and the Wolf, and it's frustrating because the beat isn't formulated.
I went on Old Navy to look at their straight jeans to see how much they are. It sucks that a lot of the things I wanted to accomplish tomorrow won't happen, because none of the stores will be open.
I'm really bent on dying my hair really bright blonde. I haven't dyed my hair before, and I just feel like I need a change. I'm also getting rid of most of my high school warddrobe.
I know it seems like all the change is on the surface, but they're more signifiers of what I've already kinda turned into.
I've been listening to so much electronic stuff lately, I saw Justice on Monday.
They were hella-tight. They two dj's before them weren't really that great, but one of them played Digital Love by Daft Punk, so I couldn't complain.
I don't even want to talk about coat check (waiting cramped unable to breathe in a human pile-up for fifty minutes not allowed in to get my bag is um, how you say... frustrating enough to keep me away from the Sound Academy for as long as humanly possible).
I'm looking forward to the possibility of seeing SebastiAn in about a month.. it would be nice, just as long as I can get in.
I suppose that's it for now. Better turn off the good music, and put on the crap I'm trying to create.

It’s just before midnight and a long line of clubbers waits patiently outside / Someone is yelling something like “strike up the tune”... / So you think you’ve seen and heard it all / But I’m a skitzo escaped from the hospital / I’m a club vandal a renegade / Who am I ? You ask but don’t really care / I just came here to put my mind at ease /‘cause music is better than popPin’pills / Skitzo dancer / Skitzo dancer / Skitzo dancer / Skitzo... / There’s a battle on the dance floor / Can the crowd dance fast enough ? / There’s a battle on the dance floor / Can the crowd dance fast enough ? / No need for a straight jacket! / I’m like Billy Elliot and this is my ballet / No need to reveal my identity / ‘cause I got so many split personalities / Homophobic can’t help laughing at me / So I will get into the pit and break some teeth / I’m not afraid to be different / And if ever I need to fight, I’m self confident / Skitzo dancer / Skitzo dancer / Skitzo dancer / Skitzo... / There’s a battle on the dance floor / Can the crowd dance fast enough ? / There’s a battle on the dance floor / Can the crowd dance fast enough ? / It’s a riot! Riot! / Who is (say”cool-ish”) the dj today ? / Give me something to dance to / And please no techno / ‘cause it’s war in my head and I’m ready to disco




I'm so addicted to this song. It's ridiculous.

I've just been listening to the Beatles all night, feeling introspective on absolutely nothing. Looking at pictures of John Lennon. The cute John Lennon. The 1964/65 Lennon. It makes me feel like a rioting teen with nowhere to go. No one to really scream for.
This isn't meant to be morose, I'm not upset. I'm just sitting and having a good time.

I should be reading for school. I should be in bed right now. Instead, I'm waiting for someone to reply in a forum and I'm listening to 1 on repeat, with a few songs from Help! Thrown in between.

February's getting endlier. I have a lot of work to do.

Might as well see how my resolutes are going...


-HOLY FUCK I NEED TO RECORD ALREADY!!!!!!!
Started doing a few small recordings, and I need to try and write some new songs.. as asked by Ethan :)

-AND GET MY G1!
yep... not yet)

-Start writing in my journal again, I need my memories to be more organized.
Definitely. I've been doing it a lot and been enjoying it!

-Get confident stupid!
I've been doing a lot better with my self confidence, but it's always going to be difficult.

-Expand my "musical horizons" and listen to newer bands
........Do the Beatles count? I never appreciated them that much.. and now I'm obsessed!

-Keep on being artistic but more often
Yeah this has been going surprisingly well! I spent the entire afternoon painting in my basement!

-Stop staying up until five just doing stupid shit like this
Half done.. I still do stupid shit but within more reasonable hours

-Make more mix CDs for my friends... I made two today. I'd missed it.
I know I know, I'll get on it.

-Apply to other restaurants as a hostess, to see if there is anywhere better than the island (probably yes)
-Get my organization on track
I am in the process of cleaning my room!
-Get braces
-Take steps to improve myself rather than falling into old habits
</strike>-Be upfront about what I want</strike>
I WANT THAT! I WANT THAT!
-Take good care of my posessions
-Pick up the guitar more
Even though I havent' really been learning new chords.. which I should also do.
-Keep writing, even just poems
-Grow the balls to get rid of all the shirts I don't wear anymore
-Treat people a bit better
-Create things in school that I'm proud of
-Take more pictures
-Make my ideas happen
-Make more interesting lists for my readership
Sorry.

I have a cold
I didn't get sleep last night, except for one dream in a movie theatre
He told me to sleep so I slept
My wisdom teeth were congested
I went home and watched A Hard Days Night
I went home and watched Science of Sleep but only a bit more than half
It was blue outside
Now I am awake but I'm tired
I want to construct my dreams
Cardboard keyboard
Felt desktop
Cellophane glass of water
I want to be on the phone with him as I fall asleep
I want to tell him what I see

My dog kept barking so I got up and checked the door.
A man was just standing there and then he went down the stairs and walked down the street.
At first I thought it might be Andrew because he had a big coat on for his frame, but I looked out and it didn't look much like him.
He just crossed the street and went towards VP.
There was nothing left on my doorstep or anything.
It was just really bizarre.
Clearly I'm making something from probably nothing it just weirded me out when I woke up to that.
Going back to bed though, I'm still sleepy.

Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair
Do not cut your boyfriend's hair

In 2007 I...
[_] stayed single
[X] got kissed
[X] kissed in the snow
[X] kissed in the rain
[X] fell in love (again)
[ ] fell in love with a fool
[ ] had my heart broken
[ ] broke someone else's heart
[_] had a stalker
[X] lost a friend
[X] had/have a good relationship with someone
[_] questioned my sexual orientation
[_] got pregnant
[_] had an abortion
[_] had a misscarrige
[_] got married
[_] had a divorce
[X] met someone that I will never forget
[X] did something I regret
[_] lost my true love
[ ] lost faith in the opposite sex
[_] kissed under mistletoe
[_] got a promotion
[X] got a pay raise
[_] changed jobs
[ ] licked a monkey
[_] quit my job
[_] dated a co-worker
[_] dated my boss
[_] dated my boss's son/ daughter
[_] got fired from my job
[ ] got straight A's
[X] met a teacher who I became friends with
[X] met a teacher who I really hate
[ ] found the subject I love
[_] failed a class
[X] cut class
[_] skipped school
[ ] got in a fight with a classmate
[X] did something I wasn't proud of
[X] discovered a new talent
[X] proved myself an idiot
[X] embarrassed myself in front of the class
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[X] was involved in something that I will never forget
[X] painted a picture
[X] wrote a poem
[ ]ran a mile 100 times
[X] listened to music I couldn't stand
[X] double dipped
[ ] skinny dipped
[X] went to a sleepover
[X] went to a campground
[X] went to a surprise party
[X] laughed till I cried
[_] laughed till I peed my pants
[X] flirted shamelessly
[_] visited a foreign country
[ ] visited a foreign state
[ ] cooked a disastrous meal
[X] lost something important to me
[X] got a gift I love
[X] realized something new about myself
[_] dyed my hair
[ ] came close to losing my life
[_] someone close to me died
[ ] went to a wild party
[ ] drank alcohol
[ ] drank alcohol underage
[_] got arrested
[_] got in trouble with the cops for doing something illegal
[ ] read a great book
[X] saw a great movie
[_] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[X] saw a favorite band live
[ X] did something that I want to tell everyone (I want to tell everyone everything)
[X] experienced something new
[X] made new friends
[X] found out who your real friends are
[ ] lied to your parents
[_] snuck out
[ ] walked out
[_] got in trouble with police
[ ]kissed in a pool/hot tub
[X] kissed under the stars
[ ] smoked
[ ] did illegal drugs
[X] went to a party
[X] had the time of your life
[X] danced
[ ] fell out of love
[X] had a crush on someone
[_] changed your sexual preference
[X] swam in a pool
[ ]made a snowman
[_] went skiing
[X] went sledding
[X] slept in past 2pm
[X] held someones hand that you care about
[_] got wasted in a public place
[X] gone on vacation
[X] gone on vacation with a friend
[ ] driven a car
[_] played strip poker
[ ] danced in the rain
[_] got in a car accident
[_] saw someone get in a car accident
[X] got in a fist fight (for play)
[X] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[X] had an amazing year
[X] missed someone
[_] got hit by a car
[_] sent someone to the hospital
[ ] got a new pet
[X] enjoyed this year overall

-HOLY FUCK I NEED TO RECORD ALREADY!!!!!!!
-AND GET MY G1!
-Start writing in my journal again, I need my memories to be more organized.
-Get confident stupid!
-Expand my "musical horizons" and listen to newer bands
-Keep on being artistic but more often
-Stop staying up until five just doing stupid shit like this
-Make more mix CDs for my friends... I made two today. I'd missed it.
-Apply to other restaurants as a hostess, to see if there is anywhere better than the island (probably yes)
-Get my organization on track
-Get braces
-Take steps to improve myself rather than falling into old habits
-Be upfront about what I want
-Take good care of my posessions
-Pick up the guitar more
-Keep writing, even just poems
-Grow the balls to get rid of all the shirts I don't wear anymore
-Treat people a bit better
-Create things in school that I'm proud of
-Take more pictures
-Make my ideas happen
-Make more interesting lists for my readership

Menomena is the only thing fuelling this engine.
I need to keep a level head.
The bath was complacent.
I don't know how I feel about this.
Menomena, keep me moving.
Keep the energy.
Keep me alive.

This song feels so relevant to me right now...

And the video is great.



I made you a present, you’ll never expect it
And when you unravel the secret will travel
It's hard to take risks with a pessimist
I hope that this shaking will help us awaken
Separated by skin ‘til we let ourselves in
It's hard to take risks with a pessimist
It's hard to take risks
I hope one will burn me, I know you’ll desert me
(This is the closest I’ve come to touching you the way I want)
The hope can be painful, I’ll try to be faithful
(It’s hard to take risks)

You know those days when, you just laugh so hard that your face hurts, and your entire body becomes exhausted?
It was one of those.
Walking down the streets (of town)
Everything is hilarious
Especially the squirrel with a peanut
"Look at him! He's following me!"
"Leave him alone..
he doesn't want to start shit...
You're drunk"
"HAY!"
Jumping off everything,
Trying to jump to the next thing
And failing
Almost
Every
Time
We hit up some friends
Finally make it to the library
Sit in the tiny aisles, feet up, blockade of magazines and bodies
"URINE" all my classes.
"Hey...how cool would I be, if I just started fishing all the change out of this pond?... give me a rough estimate"
It closes
It gets dark
We have hunger
Walking down the streets
My jaw hurts
My stomach hurts
GOD DAMN IT I HATE YOU
You and your white pants
Food we find after walking
It is ordered
What a shitty album
"Sounds like The Floors"
"what?"
"NO THE ACTUAL FLOORS."
It's tiring
But really rewarding
Friends are just
So important.

And I'm in love with another intangible man.

Emo diverted itself into indie about five years ago? Emo became a seperate subculture from it's original outline. It became something awful, a stereotype of makeup and razorblades.
Emo perserved itself in indie culture. Big black glasses and argyle live on.
Srsly, what the fuck happened there?

Ian McKaye would be spinning in his own grave if it weren't filled with some veteran! (and if he was dead)

Emma likes to fall, and Emma likes to spoil.
Emma is living, trying to get back to the soil.
Emma is what seems right. And Emma's made for you?
False Emma doesn't mean Emmas are true.

The Emma is so proud just to hold us up
We're an Emma away from being dangerous
Kiss Emma and show her that it's true
Emma's depressed about a thing she doesn't really want to do

Don't try to write her name in the Emma from the ground
Don't try to write her name in the Emma from the ground

Final Emma architects with GPS
Emma-gun carpenters building a 3D mess
Emma protests, but it doesn't work again
Emma's magic beans mean at least she'll have one giant friend

The Emma is so proud just to hold us up
Emma's a kiss away from being dangerous
Kiss Emma and show her that it's true
She's depressed about a thing she doesn't really want to do

Don't try to write her name in the Emma from the ground
Don't try to write her name in the Emma from the ground

We all dream we can fly. When we wake up, only thirty seven percent of us are right.

Is awesome. Go see it if you like Wes Anderson. It very much has the same feel as his other movies and I think I may end up watching Rushmore tonight in celebration of how much I love him.

My problem:
Fuck itunes.

I want to watch the new short, but I don't have an account on the itunes store because I don't have a credit card and my mom is too paranoid to get one.
What the fuck.
I hate things... and I don't wanna have to wait for someone to put it on youtube god dammit!
Why couldn't it just be accessable on a website rather than through that crazy piece of shit store that I'm never going to buy songs off of?

I still dream about killer whales.

I cannot stop listening to Daft Punk lately... as you may be able to tell from my display picture... but they're just so good! So good!
I wish I could have seen them when they played live here a while ago... but the tickets were sold out almost immediately and it was slightly before I was into them so the entire scenario was just kinda impossible.
So first full week and a half of school done, I like it thus far. So happy to have a large group of friends to hang out with. Like, insanely happy about it.
Started playing bass again which is nice. My pinky hurts when I type because it's starting to blister. It makes me happy.
I have a crush on ipod touch.. though it's stupid because I want one that is bigger than 16GB which costs $400.. so I'm thinking, I'll wait until Christmas and hope they put out a newer model with more gigabites.
I went out on my bike today.
I'm hoping to go on an adventure tomorrow.. otherwise I'll just bike, do some homework, clean and paint my nails. WHATEVA.
I'm tired.